If You Give a Toddler Red Kool Aide:
If you give a toddler red Kool Aide they'll want some grapes to snack on
You'll go into the kitchen and wash the grapes and take them off the stems
As you're taking them off the stems he'll remember that he has to go potty
You will immediately stop with the grapes and take him upstairs to the bathroom
When he gets in the bathroom he'll forget the potty and think he needs to play with his bath toys
You'll let him play with his toys while you brush your teeth.
Suddenly he will scream. This will shock you and you'll almost trip over him.
He will remember that he has to go potty NOW!
After that, you'll have to wash both of your hands.
As you're washing his hands, he'll remember that you offered him red Kool Aide instead of the usual water.
You'll try to convince him that water is the best choice, at which point he'll throw himself on the floor and throw an unholy temper tantrum.
You'll ignore the fit until he calms down enough to talk about it.
You'll hold him while he finishes his sniffing and suggest you both go downstairs and get him the grapes.
He will giggle and count the steps as you go down them singing the song you made up for him.
He will immediately start playing with his trains when your downstairs, so you will go into the kitchen and get the grapes.
The grapes will remind him of the toddler liquid gold that is red Kool Aide.
He will tell you 50 times that he wants the Kool Aide.
Exhausted, you'll give him the Kool Aide. Your phone will ring and you'll take the call.
The toddler will take a drink of the Kool Aide and realize he doesn't like it.
He won't verbalize that to you.
You will get wrapped up in the conversation and put your feet up blocking your direct view of the once again playing with trains toddler.
Suddenly you'll hear an odd sound.
You'll put your feet down to investigate, and see the whole thing of Kool Aide all over the hardwood floor.
You'll ask the toddler why he did that, to which he will respond "I didn't like it."
You'll grab the paper towels and begin the cleaning up.
The toddler will ask to help.
You'll let him, which takes twice as long, but you'll know it is worth it to teach him.
Once you get the Kool Aide cleaned up, he'll remind you that he's thirsty.
You'll offer him water.
He'll cry and beg for Kool Aide.
You'll remind him that he doesn't like it.
He'll insist that he does.
You'll suddenly remember he has his "juice" in the fridge (flavored water)
You'll offer him juice and he will take it.
You'll sit down exhausted from the Kool Aide ordeal and swear it will never again be in your home.
The toddler will dance and want to play a game with you, which you'll do until he runs away to play with his puzzle.
At that point you'll write this tale
| 
Comments
Post a Comment